Well boys, the Fumoto valve nearly got me. I hit what was left of an armadillo. I kept a close eye on the mirror looking for obvious oil and nothing, so I thought I was fine. I got to where I was going, went in, came out, started the car, and when I put it into reverse it made a very light rattling noise and flashed the EPC light as I engaged the clutch. Put the car into first and started to engage the clutch and got the same thing. Popped the hood had a listen and everything sounded completely normal. Sat in the car and gently revved it (~1500 RPMs), the noise intensified and the big red ”SHIT SHIT SHIT NO OIL PRESSURE SHUT ME OFF NOW NOW NOW” warning flashed.
Walked around the car and wouldn’t ya know it… there was all my oil. What’s crazy to me is that the car drove a other ten minutes until I parked it to decide that it was time to dump the crank case.
Goddammit.
Used the widow-maker to lift the car to get a better look (I didn’t get under the car, I don’t actually want to die) and saw the Fumoto valve in the “LOL U FUK’T” position (open). Went in and bought a quart of garbage brand generic grocery store oil to see if it would hold oil. It did so I bought three more quarts. Inspected oil on the ground for sparkles (finely minced engine internals) and saw nothing, poured the oil in, crossed my fingers, and she fired right up and idled like nothing happened.
Next I’ll send in an oil sample for analysis and cut open the filter for a close inspection. If something looks off or the oil sample is bad I can file and insurance claim for a new engine.
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