NoRegrets78
OG
It's been 2 years since my accident, and I still have visions, dreams, and the occasional panic attack.
I've been in love with the idea of riding a motorcycle for as long as I can remember. I begged and pleaded with my parents to let me get a scooter when I was 15 but they wouldn't budge. They insisted I'd be killed. Every few years I'd test the waters again, requesting permission to ride a motorcycle, and every few years it was the same routine. They forbid it while I was living under their roof.
I moved out at 23, and at the time was in a serious relationship. I turned my attention to imports, acquiring and modding a 2002 Acura RSX Type-S to be a drag and autocross beast with some flair. She was my obsession, until 2004 when I traded it in for a Honda Element. At the time I was engaged and was thinking about my future. As much as my name says no regrets, I do regret getting rid of that car, or should I say I learned the lesson of never to give up something you love because of a woman.
. I got into R/C cars and trucks (nitro) to quench my thirst for modding and toys. Didn't do as well as I thought it would.
After going bankrupt in 2005 from a history of abusing credit cards and the lost money from a cancelled wedding (a whole other story), I thought that was it for the toys for a while. In 2006 I made my triumphant return to the import scene picking up a 2006 Candy White 2dr GTI. LOVED that car so much, and modding was so much fun. Issues with the fuel pump follower design, faulty pcv valves, and a useless stock diverter valve prompted me to sell and return to Honda. Picked up a 2008 Element.
In 2009, at age 30, I finally decided to pursuit my dream of riding a motorcycle. I took the MSF course, obsessed reading every book I could find on riding safely, watched the Ride like a pro series multiple times, and even picked up cones to create tracks for myself in parking lots to hone my skills. I wound up picking up a 2009 Kawasaki Vulcan 900 Custom. OMG I was absolutely in love with her, and riding was something I did not do out of obligation to get to point B, but out of sheer willingness to be on the road. I rode everywhere, as much as possible. I was living to ride, it was my greatest obsession, and the most wonderful feeling I have ever had on wheels.
Wound up getting rid of the Element and picked up a 2009 Accord V6 Coupe in blue with navigation. Nice ride, but not thrilled with it. It did the job at the time though as my bad weather, passenger transportation.
August 17th, 2009. After work my girlfriend and her friend were hanging at my place and we decided to head down Deer Park Avenue to go to the new Buffalo Wild Wings. I was only riding since April so she wasn't allowed to get on with me as I was not comfortable taking a passenger yet, but she said I should take my bike because a mutual friend was riding there with some other riders. I was thrilled that she was so understanding and hopped on my bike while they lead with her car. Approaching the CVS/Starbucks shopping center, I see on the opposite side of the road a Hyundai Elantra waiting to turn left. I checked my mirrors, covered my brakes as I was taught in the MSF and moved to lane position 3 to get my headlight right in the kids face. Didn't make a damn bit of difference, he pulled out at the last possible moment.
It was slow motion. I squeezed the front brake as I applied pressure to the rear in the panic stop situation I have practiced so many times before. We're taught to brake or swerve never both but I knew I had just enough traction to try and angle right in the hopes he'd stop when he realized what he had done. I got just far enough over to hit his fender. My head smashed the windshield as I watched it shatter through the face shield of my full face helmet, hearing the female passengers scream bloody murder. The side view mirror dug deeply into my left side as I folded over then bounced back off the car landing in the street. I was only going about 40 before the crash, and slowed to under 30 for the impact. The bike ricocheted right and hit the curb. I looked up to see her laying on her side, the safety switch for such a situation cutting the engine and as I looked at her for that brief moment, I knew I would never ride again.
Despite being a safety nut, having worn a full face helmet, armored jacket, Kevlar lined jeans, knee and shin guards, and riding boots, I was in an immense amount of pain. Breathing was extremely difficult and I felt like someone stabbed me in the back with a knife, had it still inside and was twisting. A good samaritan named Mike stopped and talked to me, kept me calm until help arrived which was seemingly very quick. I couldn't get up, I couldn't move beyond breathing and writhing in agony, and could barely speak. Thoughts of death ran through my head but only for a brief moment when I started forcing myself to analyze the situation to keep myself from panicking. "It's a few broken bones in my back, but I can move my toes so I'm not paralyzed. Most likely internal bleeding but they'll get it under control at the hospital, I just have to make it to the hospital. Oh my God what about my baby? She didn't see what happened or she'd be here already. She's gonna freak. Whatever I do, just have to tell her it's going to be ok, keep her calm."
The ambulance arrives and loads me up. En route I gave the paramedic my phone and asked him to call my girl. He gave her the information as the ambulance passed where they were waiting for me. Her friend drove with excessive speed to get to the hospital asap. While I was lying there being assessed she showed up. I told her she should call my parents and that I loved her and everything would be fine. Still in immense pain, barely able to speak, she knew I was lying. The time in the emergency room seemed like forever, and looking back I realize that my vision was fading at the time, going cloudy. They finally wheel me in to the MRI and I was asked to hold my breath as they scanned for internal injuries. I laughed in my own head "are they kidding? hold my breath?" The pain was intensifying and I begged for something for the pain, but until they knew what was going on they refused. It seemed like eternity, but the doctor finally spoke to me. "We're going to give you something for the pain now, please try to relax". That was it, no info on what was going on. At that point I didn't care, I couldn't take the pain any more, I was begging for mercy. I gladly accepted what they gave me, which knocked me out almost instantly.
Fuzzy from there, I remember waking up just a little to hear a nurse saying "he's vomiting" and I felt myself throw up but I could still breathe. Weird. Couldn't open my eyes, or fully wake up so when I realized I was still breathing, I went back to sleep.
The next time I woke up, it was to the doctor explaining to me that they needed me to exhale when they pulled the tube out of my throat. My dad was there as well. I followed instructions, coughed a few times which was excruciating, but I could breathe on my own. I tried to speak but no vocal chords worked so I was just able to whisper "what happened?" to my dad. He thought I meant I didn't realize I was in the accident. I knew I was, I wanted to know why I had a tube in my throat. No answers, so I went back to sleep.
Next time I was woken by nurses who were unbelievably hot, or maybe it was the drugs I was on, either way their beauty faded as they had me roll over so they could wash me. More intense pain, barely able to breathe. Back to sleep after.
The very next time I woke up I was more lucid. I had visitors and it was wonderful to see my family, even if it was in the ICU. My girl was right by my side, having never left from the moment she was allowed to see me.
Doc comes in the room a few days later, and his first statement to me was "Wow, you look pretty good for someone who lost a few organs!". Wait, WHAT?!?! What weren't they telling me?!? Dad looked at me with this look of troubled sadness, and told me that they had to remove my left kidney and spleen. I sat there in horror as he explained the extent of my injuries.
Severed kidney, unrepairable.
Ruptured Spleen
4 cracked vertebrae
4 cracked ribs
Both lungs collapsed
21 units of blood lost to internal bleeding.
They kept me unconscious for 6 days because they said the pain would be too much to bear, even on medication. The kidney was hard to swallow, the spleen I could give 2 shits about, but knowing I was out for 6 days while my family suffered watching me in this condition was traumatic.
The rest of my hospital stay was painful, but it only took me 2 weeks to get home to be miserable there, and 2 months to get back to work. Having a desk job has it's perks sometimes.
I was told stories during my stay and after I got home. Stories of my girlfriend on the floor of the emergency room inconsolable when my parents were called to be by my bedside as they didn't believe I would survive the night. My father, who I have only seen cry once in my entire life when my grandfather died, sobbing over pictures of me outside the emergency room. It broke my heart to hear what I put my friends and family through, or rather what the kid did, but my decision to ride put me in that position, and them, and I swore never to ride again. I've had 2 more surgeries since. Both abdominal hernia repairs since they had me open sternum to groin and the muscles never completely closed. I have 2 pieces of mesh in me that keep my insides from popping through the muscle. Don't feel it though, thank God.
I miss it. Every goddamn day I miss it. Every time I see a bike, with a rider with no gear on it baffles me how someone like me with all the preparation in the world could have this ripped away in a split second. In my depression, I took whatever I could get from the lawsuit, which by the way wasn't much since the kid had bare min insurance (not like the movies, you don't get millions), and I purchased a 2005 Red Honda S2000. I thought the convertible, low slung sports car would quench my thirst and keep me from dreaming about riding. A year and a half later, it didn't. I even traded the 09 accord in for a 06 Ridgeline RTL thinking well I have a truck and a sports car, what more could I want? Still, the dreams of riding stuck with me.
Then something interesting happened. I was passing by a brand new VW dealer in my area and said, ya know what, lets stop in and see what's new with the GTI. Instant LOVE. The good feelings from my 06 started flooding back, how much fun I had with that car. Modding, attending meets, waterfest, working with APR. It was amazing then, and after I did some research about how the issues I had with my 06 were fixed, I had the thought, what if I traded both and got a 2012?
Few months later, and here we are. I put a deposit on a 2012 GTI 4dr Candy White DSG. The S2000, which was an absolutely lovely vehicle will be traded along with the Ridgeline that I still owed money on. I'm just waiting for it to come in. The most wonderful thing happened though in just the few short months between the initial thought, and now. I completely forgot about the bike, even to the point that I forgot that today was the 2 year anniversary. I was so wrapped up in tunes, exhausts, boost gauges, intakes, vag-com, intercoolers, K04's, LED tails, etc, etc, that it completely left my mind. I was distracted and it felt good. The GTI is the therapy that is long overdue, and my obsessive nature finally has something to latch on to again.
My girlfriend, the one that had to see me lying there in the state I was in, is now my fiancee. She is the absolute love of my life. After only dating a few short months, she nursed me back to health, devoting every waking moment that she wasn't working to getting me well. I am happy to say we will be married on October 1st, this year. I cannot wait for that!!!
Sorry for the long thread, but writing the story is definitely a form of therapy for me. Those that knew me from my MKV days probably had no idea what happened after I left GolfMKV.com, but I'm looking forward to reuniting with those that stuck around.
So, before someone posts that this thread is useless without pics, I offer a few. My MKV, my Vulcan, and me.
I've been in love with the idea of riding a motorcycle for as long as I can remember. I begged and pleaded with my parents to let me get a scooter when I was 15 but they wouldn't budge. They insisted I'd be killed. Every few years I'd test the waters again, requesting permission to ride a motorcycle, and every few years it was the same routine. They forbid it while I was living under their roof.
I moved out at 23, and at the time was in a serious relationship. I turned my attention to imports, acquiring and modding a 2002 Acura RSX Type-S to be a drag and autocross beast with some flair. She was my obsession, until 2004 when I traded it in for a Honda Element. At the time I was engaged and was thinking about my future. As much as my name says no regrets, I do regret getting rid of that car, or should I say I learned the lesson of never to give up something you love because of a woman.
. I got into R/C cars and trucks (nitro) to quench my thirst for modding and toys. Didn't do as well as I thought it would.After going bankrupt in 2005 from a history of abusing credit cards and the lost money from a cancelled wedding (a whole other story), I thought that was it for the toys for a while. In 2006 I made my triumphant return to the import scene picking up a 2006 Candy White 2dr GTI. LOVED that car so much, and modding was so much fun. Issues with the fuel pump follower design, faulty pcv valves, and a useless stock diverter valve prompted me to sell and return to Honda. Picked up a 2008 Element.
In 2009, at age 30, I finally decided to pursuit my dream of riding a motorcycle. I took the MSF course, obsessed reading every book I could find on riding safely, watched the Ride like a pro series multiple times, and even picked up cones to create tracks for myself in parking lots to hone my skills. I wound up picking up a 2009 Kawasaki Vulcan 900 Custom. OMG I was absolutely in love with her, and riding was something I did not do out of obligation to get to point B, but out of sheer willingness to be on the road. I rode everywhere, as much as possible. I was living to ride, it was my greatest obsession, and the most wonderful feeling I have ever had on wheels.
Wound up getting rid of the Element and picked up a 2009 Accord V6 Coupe in blue with navigation. Nice ride, but not thrilled with it. It did the job at the time though as my bad weather, passenger transportation.
August 17th, 2009. After work my girlfriend and her friend were hanging at my place and we decided to head down Deer Park Avenue to go to the new Buffalo Wild Wings. I was only riding since April so she wasn't allowed to get on with me as I was not comfortable taking a passenger yet, but she said I should take my bike because a mutual friend was riding there with some other riders. I was thrilled that she was so understanding and hopped on my bike while they lead with her car. Approaching the CVS/Starbucks shopping center, I see on the opposite side of the road a Hyundai Elantra waiting to turn left. I checked my mirrors, covered my brakes as I was taught in the MSF and moved to lane position 3 to get my headlight right in the kids face. Didn't make a damn bit of difference, he pulled out at the last possible moment.
It was slow motion. I squeezed the front brake as I applied pressure to the rear in the panic stop situation I have practiced so many times before. We're taught to brake or swerve never both but I knew I had just enough traction to try and angle right in the hopes he'd stop when he realized what he had done. I got just far enough over to hit his fender. My head smashed the windshield as I watched it shatter through the face shield of my full face helmet, hearing the female passengers scream bloody murder. The side view mirror dug deeply into my left side as I folded over then bounced back off the car landing in the street. I was only going about 40 before the crash, and slowed to under 30 for the impact. The bike ricocheted right and hit the curb. I looked up to see her laying on her side, the safety switch for such a situation cutting the engine and as I looked at her for that brief moment, I knew I would never ride again.
Despite being a safety nut, having worn a full face helmet, armored jacket, Kevlar lined jeans, knee and shin guards, and riding boots, I was in an immense amount of pain. Breathing was extremely difficult and I felt like someone stabbed me in the back with a knife, had it still inside and was twisting. A good samaritan named Mike stopped and talked to me, kept me calm until help arrived which was seemingly very quick. I couldn't get up, I couldn't move beyond breathing and writhing in agony, and could barely speak. Thoughts of death ran through my head but only for a brief moment when I started forcing myself to analyze the situation to keep myself from panicking. "It's a few broken bones in my back, but I can move my toes so I'm not paralyzed. Most likely internal bleeding but they'll get it under control at the hospital, I just have to make it to the hospital. Oh my God what about my baby? She didn't see what happened or she'd be here already. She's gonna freak. Whatever I do, just have to tell her it's going to be ok, keep her calm."
The ambulance arrives and loads me up. En route I gave the paramedic my phone and asked him to call my girl. He gave her the information as the ambulance passed where they were waiting for me. Her friend drove with excessive speed to get to the hospital asap. While I was lying there being assessed she showed up. I told her she should call my parents and that I loved her and everything would be fine. Still in immense pain, barely able to speak, she knew I was lying. The time in the emergency room seemed like forever, and looking back I realize that my vision was fading at the time, going cloudy. They finally wheel me in to the MRI and I was asked to hold my breath as they scanned for internal injuries. I laughed in my own head "are they kidding? hold my breath?" The pain was intensifying and I begged for something for the pain, but until they knew what was going on they refused. It seemed like eternity, but the doctor finally spoke to me. "We're going to give you something for the pain now, please try to relax". That was it, no info on what was going on. At that point I didn't care, I couldn't take the pain any more, I was begging for mercy. I gladly accepted what they gave me, which knocked me out almost instantly.
Fuzzy from there, I remember waking up just a little to hear a nurse saying "he's vomiting" and I felt myself throw up but I could still breathe. Weird. Couldn't open my eyes, or fully wake up so when I realized I was still breathing, I went back to sleep.
The next time I woke up, it was to the doctor explaining to me that they needed me to exhale when they pulled the tube out of my throat. My dad was there as well. I followed instructions, coughed a few times which was excruciating, but I could breathe on my own. I tried to speak but no vocal chords worked so I was just able to whisper "what happened?" to my dad. He thought I meant I didn't realize I was in the accident. I knew I was, I wanted to know why I had a tube in my throat. No answers, so I went back to sleep.
Next time I was woken by nurses who were unbelievably hot, or maybe it was the drugs I was on, either way their beauty faded as they had me roll over so they could wash me. More intense pain, barely able to breathe. Back to sleep after.
The very next time I woke up I was more lucid. I had visitors and it was wonderful to see my family, even if it was in the ICU. My girl was right by my side, having never left from the moment she was allowed to see me.
Doc comes in the room a few days later, and his first statement to me was "Wow, you look pretty good for someone who lost a few organs!". Wait, WHAT?!?! What weren't they telling me?!? Dad looked at me with this look of troubled sadness, and told me that they had to remove my left kidney and spleen. I sat there in horror as he explained the extent of my injuries.
Severed kidney, unrepairable.
Ruptured Spleen
4 cracked vertebrae
4 cracked ribs
Both lungs collapsed
21 units of blood lost to internal bleeding.
They kept me unconscious for 6 days because they said the pain would be too much to bear, even on medication. The kidney was hard to swallow, the spleen I could give 2 shits about, but knowing I was out for 6 days while my family suffered watching me in this condition was traumatic.
The rest of my hospital stay was painful, but it only took me 2 weeks to get home to be miserable there, and 2 months to get back to work. Having a desk job has it's perks sometimes.
I was told stories during my stay and after I got home. Stories of my girlfriend on the floor of the emergency room inconsolable when my parents were called to be by my bedside as they didn't believe I would survive the night. My father, who I have only seen cry once in my entire life when my grandfather died, sobbing over pictures of me outside the emergency room. It broke my heart to hear what I put my friends and family through, or rather what the kid did, but my decision to ride put me in that position, and them, and I swore never to ride again. I've had 2 more surgeries since. Both abdominal hernia repairs since they had me open sternum to groin and the muscles never completely closed. I have 2 pieces of mesh in me that keep my insides from popping through the muscle. Don't feel it though, thank God.
I miss it. Every goddamn day I miss it. Every time I see a bike, with a rider with no gear on it baffles me how someone like me with all the preparation in the world could have this ripped away in a split second. In my depression, I took whatever I could get from the lawsuit, which by the way wasn't much since the kid had bare min insurance (not like the movies, you don't get millions), and I purchased a 2005 Red Honda S2000. I thought the convertible, low slung sports car would quench my thirst and keep me from dreaming about riding. A year and a half later, it didn't. I even traded the 09 accord in for a 06 Ridgeline RTL thinking well I have a truck and a sports car, what more could I want? Still, the dreams of riding stuck with me.
Then something interesting happened. I was passing by a brand new VW dealer in my area and said, ya know what, lets stop in and see what's new with the GTI. Instant LOVE. The good feelings from my 06 started flooding back, how much fun I had with that car. Modding, attending meets, waterfest, working with APR. It was amazing then, and after I did some research about how the issues I had with my 06 were fixed, I had the thought, what if I traded both and got a 2012?
Few months later, and here we are. I put a deposit on a 2012 GTI 4dr Candy White DSG. The S2000, which was an absolutely lovely vehicle will be traded along with the Ridgeline that I still owed money on. I'm just waiting for it to come in. The most wonderful thing happened though in just the few short months between the initial thought, and now. I completely forgot about the bike, even to the point that I forgot that today was the 2 year anniversary. I was so wrapped up in tunes, exhausts, boost gauges, intakes, vag-com, intercoolers, K04's, LED tails, etc, etc, that it completely left my mind. I was distracted and it felt good. The GTI is the therapy that is long overdue, and my obsessive nature finally has something to latch on to again.
My girlfriend, the one that had to see me lying there in the state I was in, is now my fiancee. She is the absolute love of my life. After only dating a few short months, she nursed me back to health, devoting every waking moment that she wasn't working to getting me well. I am happy to say we will be married on October 1st, this year. I cannot wait for that!!!
Sorry for the long thread, but writing the story is definitely a form of therapy for me. Those that knew me from my MKV days probably had no idea what happened after I left GolfMKV.com, but I'm looking forward to reuniting with those that stuck around.
So, before someone posts that this thread is useless without pics, I offer a few. My MKV, my Vulcan, and me.
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