Well, good news!
Talked to USAA yesterday and they deemed my car a total loss. They ended up giving me a bit over $25k including title, tax, registration and extra options factored in (Xenons, 18" Detroits, tint, sunroof). I paid around $26k after road hazard coverage, title, tax, and title so I'm satisfied with the settlement, thought I would get less than what they decided on.
Unfortunately, they won't reimburse me for the LED tail lights so I took the adapters and swapped the ones that were still working with stock tail lights. Also swapped out all my aftermarket stuff with OEM back in after checking with USAA that I would be able to (Carbonio I/II, Euro switch, UG sidemarkers, 9W7 Bluetooth, shift knob, PIAA fogs, UG front lip spoiler).
My dealer was able to secure me a 2011 CSG 4DR GTI 6MT w/ Sunroof & Nav, my first two choices were Shadow Blue and UG but both of those cars were claimed. He gave me the internet price at $26299 without me asking so that was nice.
No medical problems with my x-ray results and final doctor check-up. Neck soreness went away after a few days and I'm feeling 100% fine now.
I'll miss the APR chip from my 2010 but I'm glad to get out of my Sonata rental and back into a VW! Probably will do one last update after I get the car.