First of all, it is encouraging to me that there are still a lot of young drivers who are opting for manual transmission and learning the ins and outs of driving a standard. I don't care what anyone in the DSG or automatic camp says about faster shift times or milliseconds faster 0-60 times, we aren't race car drivers on a track and thats not what its about for me. Anyone can push or pull a paddle or mash a gas pedal and go fast. Once you master the manual you will experience a fluid 'oneness' with your vehicle that cannot be found with a couple of steering wheel mounted paddles. You aren't telling the ECU to shift gears for you, you are shifting them yourself and feeling that power come up through the clutch, in the gear shift etc. Sorry to get all kung fu on your there but I commend you for carrying on the art of the standard tranny. And to do it correctly is an art. I mean, my wife has driven stick her whole life and she still isn't very good at it. Doesn't rev match, shifts too low in the tac, lugs the engine, etc. etc. Sure, she can operate it, but she isn't skilled at the subtle techniques that make it so rewarding.
What you are describing sounds like you are looking at changing gears in separate steps when really, you should strive for making it all one fluid motion. When you describe completely letting off the gas, pushing the clutch in, shifting etc. try thinking about a very subtle blip of the trottle a millisecond before you push in the clutch and think about shifting the lever almost instantly after the clutch is pushed in etc.. try to close the gap in the time it takes for you to do each action and you'll be able to do everything with more speed and precision. I'm probably not explaining it right but you'll get it.