As for the ongoing kids discussion... one piece of advice that was given to me that resonated: really, if you want kids? You should be DYING for them. It's better to regret NOT having them, then to regret having them. I see a lot of folks (several close friends, even) who hurried up and had kids because "it was the thing to do" or "well everyone else is having them and won't it be fun to have our kids grow up together?" etc. WRONG reasons to have kids. The ones I know who used those reasons, while they'd never admit it, use their kids as an excuse for most of their misery now. They tolerate their kids. That's not right.
Those who are young and trying? Take your time.
Enjoy being DINKs while you can. Kids will kill spontaneity. Not "bow chicka bow wow" stuff (tho they can kill that too) but stuff like "wake up in the morning and decide to take a weekend trip somewhere" kind of thing. Random dinner parties. Etc. So get all that stuff out of your system first. Go be the young dumb married couple and do it to the point where you're bored with it. THEN have kids. One thing my wife and I missed out on was a lot of that because she had a 1.5 year old when we met. Now that he's a teenager, we can do those things again but 95% of the time we're just too f'n tired from careers, etc. to do any of it now lol.
I never really wanted kids. My son came along as a package deal with my wife and it was a terrifying risk... but that said: I've since fully adopted him. I have zero regrets, he's an amazing kid. Watching someone grow over time, seeing them shape themselves... it really can't be described. It's very cool.
But there was a social media movement or whatever back when I was still single called "Childfree". Not childLESS but childFREE. I still think it was valid/clever... there's too much pressure to have kids. So many people have them before they're ready. Some friends of mine found it to be beyond offensive. Tread at your own risk but IMO it's worth exploring.
