Well if anyone cares, I think I have figured out my shaking...after 9 months and thousands of dollars. Week before last I was researching other vw forums and kept seeing people say that replacing the rotors fixed their shaking, so I figured what the hell its only a hundred more dollars. I had a strong suspicion that the rotors wouldnt fix it, but I installed them anyway, and when I was doing it I decided to check my slider pins. They were dry as a bone and were covered in rubber residue on parts of the shaft. I cleaned them up some and slapped some silicone paste on them. Went for a drive for about 30 miles and the shake was completely gone.
I was so happy I may have shed a tear. Fast forward a week and the car sat the whole time I was at the beach. Came back and was super happy to drive it to work with no vibration. Well I guess the calipers got seized somehow sitting for a week, which tells me maybe one of the pistons is sticking or maybe just the friction between the sliders caused it to stick again.
Anyway, I'm going to replace both calipers and see what happens. I'm 99% sure this is the cause because its intermittent and theres literally nothing else that it can be. I'll post an updated after I install them. If this doesnt fix it I'll be burning the car to the ground and getting the insurance money.